


Didn't Know how Lost I was (Until I Found You)

by asherly89



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bi!Buck, Bi!Eddie, First Time, M/M, Sex, demi!buck, possible demisexuality, virgin!buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29208630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asherly89/pseuds/asherly89
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Everyone thinks Buck slept around a lot and is SOOO experienced and he doesn't correct them about it, but in reality he's a virgin.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 9
Kudos: 298





	Didn't Know how Lost I was (Until I Found You)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so this turned into way more than I thought. lol, hope you enjoy it.

At age 28, Buck was still a virgin. It’s not like he hadn't had the chance to sleep with someone, he has...many times, but he just never felt it was right. When he was a child he’d gone to church with his parents and they said sex was only for married couples, a man and woman only. It’s something that is so wonderful when you’re married and not before. It stuck with him. 

As he got older and stopped going to church he thought maybe sleeping with a long term girlfriend wouldn’t be so bad. If he was planning to marry her, why would sleeping with her damage their relationship before they got married? But as it goes his relationships didn’t last more than a couple of months.

Then he drifted around the world. South America, a ranch, the SEALS. He would find someone and flirt, make out, then stop seeing them. People thought he was just sleeping around, not caring about feelings or anything when really it was the other way around. As soon as it came time to go to bed with a person something would just tell Buck not to. It wasn’t the time or it didn’t feel right. He would make an excuse and leave.

Once he settled in LA and found a family at the 118, he kept up appearances. He’d stolen the truck more than once to meet up with a girl. Basically was fired for doing it, then was given a second...well third...ok maybe fifth chance after he helped the little girl whose house was being robbed.

When Abby came into his life, it was perfect. They went out on a date, where he choked on bread but Abby still didn’t leave. They talked, he met her mother, and they had more dates. Abby being older worked for him. The pressure to have sex was taken away. She wasn’t after just sleeping with Buck, but wanted to get to know him. See him for who he was and not for his looks. So Buck didn’t think about having sex with Abby. The more he got to know her, the more he felt comfortable with the idea of sleeping with her.

Then Abby’s mother passed and she decided she needed to go find herself...away from Buck. Buck let her go. Said he’d wait for her. And he did. He sublet her apartment and when she called he would listen to her tell him about whatever she did that day. She’d ask him about his and he’d tell her about whatever crazy call they had that day. It was nice. Easy.

The team would joke about how he went from messing around with any woman who looked at him to waiting for Abby’s return. He never corrected them. He hadn’t messed around with anyone. He never felt the end. Well he has, but he hasn’t actually had sex.

Then Eddie came to work for the 118 and his life changed. They worked well together. Eddie and Buck fell together perfectly. Missing Abby hurt less and less. Her calls were coming less and less but Buck didn’t seem to notice. He had Eddie and Christopher now.

Buck always knew he may have liked boys more than just in a friend way, but not until Eddie did he see himself dating a man. But Eddie was married, sort of, and was a father. He never mentioned anyone else except Shannon. The more time Buck spent with Eddie, the more his crush grew. 

When Maddie brings up his boy crush on Eddie. Buck just lets the comment go. She’s his sister and even though they haven’t talked for years it’s nice to have her around and seeing him for who he really is. A little gone on a man that doesn’t even know Buck is crushing on him hard. Maddie also jokes about him getting on with his life now that Abby isn’t coming back and he does. But Eddie is always in the back of his mind.

Then Shannon came back and Eddie told Buck they were going to try to be a family again. So Buck met up with Ali. She had contacted him and they fell into an easy relationship. Buck was busy and so was she. They dated, and when it came to sleeping together Buck would always beg off. Ali didn’t think anything of it. She thought he was just a gentleman.

Shannon dies and Eddie goes back to leaning on Buck, and Buck takes the attention. He loves it. Ali doesn’t and jokes that Buck and Eddie are in more of a relationship than she and Buck are. Buck blushes but doesn’t correct her.

One night when Ali’s over, Buck decides that it’s time to move on. Finally sleep with her. He’s been wanting to for a while, but never felt it was right. But she gets a call in the middle of foreplay and says she has to leave.

They don’t get another chance because a fire truck lands on Buck and crushes his leg. Ali is there at the hospital and helps him get home. She’s there for a little bit but when she brings up Buck finding a new job he lashes out and tells her firefighting is his life and they break up. So Buck’s back to square one.

Eddie and Christopher come over. They play video games, have dinner. Sometimes Eddie and Chris will spend the night up in the bed while Buck is stuck on the couch and it’s nice.

One night when Eddie comes over sans Chris he and Buck have a few beers, watch the game that’s on and fall into an easy silence. When a commercial break comes Eddie clears his throat and Buck turns to him.

They look at each and Eddie swallows hard before blurting out, “I think I’m in love with you.”

Buck just stares.

Eddie moves to get up, “Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t...I shouldn’t have. I should go.”

But Buck grabs his arm and pulls him back down and Eddie looks at him, “I think I’m in love with you too.”

Eddie’s shoulders fall and he sinks back into the couch with relief, “Jesus. We’re really something aren’t we?”

Buck agrees. They end up cuddled together the rest of the night. They talk into the early hours of the morning. Buck talked about his prior relationships and Eddie talked about how he always knew he was bi but didn’t want to admit it because of family and the military.

They hide their relationship as best they can. Buck isn’t working so it’s easy. Eddie gets to go to work and act like nothing has changed. They’re able to hide it until Maddie finds them making out on the couch. She yelps and startles them.

Both men are blushing and Eddie goes to leave, but Buck makes him stay. Maddie asks them a bunch of questions and they answer them the best they can. They know Maddie is going to be thell Chimney and he’ll tell Hen. It’s only a matter of time before the whole station will know.

But it’s still easy and fun. Buck goes to therapy for his leg, Eddie goes to work. They have nights with Chris and the sleepovers turn into Buck and Eddie sharing a bed while Chris sleeps on the couch. Sometimes they’ll all pile into bed together cuddled up with Chris in the middle.

When Buck gets cleared to do some physical activity aka have sex, he can’t wait to tell Eddie. But he doesn’t get to because Eddie brings Chris with him that night. He can’t be mad though, he loves Christopher as much as he loves Eddie. And to love Eddie is to love Chris so he doesn’t say anything.

As he gets better and stronger, trying to get ready to go back to work, Eddie brings up sex. Which on one hand is a relief and the other makes Buck nervous. He tries to play it off. Says he’s still not ready but Eddie pushes and Buck finally admits, “I’m a virgin.”

Eddie takes it as not having slept with a man and tells him it’s okay.

“No I mean, I’ve never slept with anyone,” Buck replies.

“But...” Eddie is at a loss for words, “You stole a fire truck to sleep with those women.”

“We never did anything more than a blow job,” Buck admits.

“And Abby?”

“Her mother was always in the next room and then she left.”

“The reporter? Ali?”

“The reporter was using me and Ali was busy.”

“Everyone says you were a ladies man,” Eddie says, “You slept around. Even talked about it.”

Buck blushes, “I was embellishing.”

“Why?”

Buck shrugs, “People thought I was a player and I never corrected them. Why look like a pathetic virgin when I could be seen as a player?”

“Buck,” Eddie says, “You wouldn’t be pathetic for not having slept with anyone. Virginity is a social construct that doesn’t change who you are.”

“Tell that to my parents...and their church,” Buck replies.

Eddie shakes his head, “Forget about them. You’ll still be the same person.”

Buck takes Eddie into his arms and holds him tight, “You’re the best, you know that?”

* * *

They talk, a lot, about sex. What Eddie knows and what Buck reads about. Buck watches porn, which he knows isn’t the best teacher but he wants to know. Eddie tries his best to answer his questions and they get to the point where Buck can talk about sex and having sex without blushing.

One night while they’re on the couch lazily making out, Buck’s hand wandering down Eddie’s front to his crotch, he finally works up the nerve to whisper to Eddie, “I want you.”

Eddie pulls away from him and looks into Buck’s eyes and he sees the trust in them. He smiles and kisses Buck again before moving to stand. He grabs Buck’s hand and takes him up the stairs to Buck’s bed.

Buck is a little nervous but Eddie soothes him with kisses and slow hands moving up his side. Shirts are taken off, then pants. Eddie’s hand moves down slowly to grab Buck’s hard cock through his underwear. They’ve done this multiple times. Something Eddie knows Buck is okay with.

Eddie pushes down Buck’s underwear to get his cock out and Buck sighs into his mouth. His cock is leaking and it lubes the way for Eddie’s hand. The more they do the more Buck gets comfortable. Eddie gets them naked and their bodies press together. Buck’s arms wrap around Eddie and Eddie’s legs tangle with his.

Eddie’s hand moves down to Buck’s ass, his fingers dip into Buck’s crack getting him comfortable with the touch. Buck pulls his mouth away from Eddie’s to look into his eyes. He sees nothing but love.

Eddie kisses down his face to his neck and licks at the spot there that makes Buck melt. Eddie takes his time at that spot, feeling Buck relax into the bed. He grabs the lube from where he left it earlier and uncaps it one handed. He has to pull away from buck and sit up to pour lube on his fingers and Buck whines from the loss.

Eddie quickly moves back to take Buck’s mouth with his and to stop his whining. With his fingers covered with lube, Eddie moves them down to rest near Buck’s hole. Buck stays relaxed and when Eddie’s finger circle his hole before the first presses in, he can’t help but clinch up.

“You’re okay, “Eddie soothes, “I’ve got you.”

Buck’s arms go tight around Eddie’s shoulders and he buries his face into his shoulder. Eddie’s finger pushes in past the tightness and doesn’t go further until he hears Buck breathe out. Buck’s body relaxes and Eddie can push his finger in more. Buck pulls away to lay back and look at Eddie as Eddie fingers him. Eddie moves his head so he take Buck’s mouth with his and it helps when he adds a second finger that Buck doesn’t notice because he’s too busy sucking on Eddie’s tongue.

When Eddie scissors his fingers to stretch Buck, Buck whines and pants, “Slow down.”

Eddie does and goes back to gently pulling his fingers in and out of Buck’s body. Buck gives him a small smile. Eddie takes his time, and waits until Buck is ready before adding a third finger. Buck doesn’t even flinch when the third is added and Eddie takes that as a small win.

When Buck starts moving his body on Eddie’s finger, the man knows it’s time to give Buck what he really wants. He quickly grabs the condom and puts it on before lubing up his hard cock and has Buck turn over onto his front. He positions himself at Buck’s hole with one hand while the other comes up to hold onto Buck’s hand. Buck’s fingers lace with his and Eddie pushes in and he feels Buck tense when the blunt head of his cock pushes in.

“Do you want me to stop?” Eddie asks, and sees Buck shake his head. Buck’s eyes are squeezed tight and his face is red, but he doesn’t want Eddie to stop.

Eddie pushes in harder and Buck’s hole takes him in. Eddie feels Buck’s breath push out of his body and he kisses his neck and whispers, “So proud of you. So good.”

Buck wiggles his body and Eddie’s cock slides in more. Eddie lets Buck get use to the feeling before pushing in the rest of the way. Once seated in Buck, Eddie stays there. He moves so his body is covering Buck’s. He kisses the back of Buck’s neck before nosing at Buck to move his head so he can take his mouth with his again.

Eddie moves slowly, not pulling out but rocking in Buck. Buck whines at the movement, Eddie’s sliding along his prostate making him leak. He pants and tries to get a hand under him so he can get some relief on his cock. Eddie doesn’t let him. Instead his hand comes up to lace his fingers with Buck’s and pulls his arms up so they’re above Buck’s head. Buck whines, “No fair.”

Eddie can’t help but smile. He pulls out some and pushes back in quickly making Buck forget about touching himself. Instead Buck gasps and pushes back for more. Eddie gives him what he wants and soon as somewhere of a rhythm going. Buck pushes back on his cock more and the sheets below him give him relief.

Eddie pulls out and turns Buck onto his side. He pushes back in without letting Buck complain about the loss. Buck’s hand moves to wrap around his cock and he pulls at it. Pre cum is leaking quickly out and it’s making the slide of his hand easy.

“I’m close,” Buck pants out.

Eddie’s arms come around him, “I’ve got you.”

Buck releases on a down stroke of his hand, cum shooting on his sheets. He feels his hole clinch around Eddie and Eddie stops moving. His brain is a little fuzzy but he knows enough that he whines when Eddie pulls out of him. 

Eddie turns him over onto his back and Buck sees him pull the condom, taking himself in hand. Eddie’s hand is quick and his face contorts when he comes all over Buck’s chest.

Eddie falls onto Buck once he’s done and he lazily kisses Buck, Buck’s arm goes around him to keep him close. The fuzziness in his brain clears and he smiles. Eddie’s still on top of him, breathing heavily in his neck. 

Once both of them are calm and Eddie moves so he’s not on top of Buck, Eddie moves his hand so he can pet at Buck’s hair.

Buck moves his head so he can look at Eddie.

“Okay?” Eddies asks.

“Better than,” Bucks replies.

**Author's Note:**

> So I know people say they write from experience and let me tell you, Buck's backstory about being in church then not having sex until he met someone "special" in a lot of ways is my personal experience. I still have a lot of hang ups when it comes to sex. I'm some where on the asexual spectrum, probably leaning more towards demi, which is why it's not explicitly said in the fic but is tagged. Buck might be demi and just doesn't know it. It's up for interpretation. 
> 
> If you want to talk to me you can find me at my tumblr: [shameless-aquarius](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/shameless-aquarius)


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